The Bubbles Happy Birthday
by Captain LeBubbles
Summary: In an attempt to get me an even better present than last year's, my friend Tocxica gets me the ultimate gift- The Doctor himself! Please don't take this seriously, it's just a goofy little something I came up with.
1. Prologue

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: Thanks to Tocxi, I now own the Doctor! Go me!

:Snap:- No you don't.

Bubbles- Dreamsquisher.

A/N: Please don't take this seriously. I started writing it _last_ year at my birthday and then dug it out now to finish it.

Here's the deal- you get one chapter a day for the next six days.

Prologue

A teenage girl had appeared on the TARDIS. She had appeared out of nowhere with no warning or anything. The Doctor and Rose just kind of stared with their mouths agape. This was not one of the more normal occurrences, even on the TARDIS.

"Cool, it worked!" the girl said happily. "I have to tell Senpai about this. Though in retrospect, that's probably not a good idea." She turned around and spotted them. "Hello. I'm Tocxica."

A/N: The first chapter was _really_ short, but it's just the prologue. The chapters are kind of short but they're definitely longer than this.


	2. In Which Tocxica Is Frightening And

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: I would love to own the Doctor. Especially Ten. Mmmm…

:Snap:- Are you kidding me? You're crazy, Five's _way_ cuter.

Bubbles- I'm crazy, well you're blind!

A/N: Please don't take this seriously. I started writing it _last_ year at my birthday and then dug it out now to finish it.

Chapter 1- In Which Tocxica Is Frightening And The Doctor Is Frightened

Rose continued to stare. The Doctor, however, managed to find his tongue.

"Nice to meet you, Tocxica," he said slowly. "Ah, just a couple of questions for you."

"Yes..?"

"How did you get here, where are you from, and why are you here?"

"In that order, I wished myself here, my mom, and you're going to be a birthday present for my friend Bubbles."

Rose finally remembered how to talk.

"Wait, what do you mean you wished yourself here? You just _wished_ you were on the TARDIS and here you were? And what was that crack about your mum?"

Tocxica gave her a look similar to the one you might give a small child asking if it could play with the chainsaw, and spoke slowly.

"Well when two people love each other very much-"

"We'll leave those first two aside for the moment. I'm more concerned about that part where you said I'm going to be a present for your friend. What did you mean by that?"

"Right, so several days ago I was watching old Doctor Who reruns with my friend Bubbles San, and I asked her what she wanted for her birthday, and she said, 'The Doctor. Nine if you can manage it, but if you can't I'll take Ten, Four, or Five.' Now of course she was kidding, but I don't have any money so I decided to give it a shot. You'll be a much better gift than what I got her last year."

"And what did you get her last year?"

"A pinstriped hat. But this'll be way better, because you're the Doctor, and she's crazy about you. Or maybe she's just crazy. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Anyway, are you going to come quietly, or do I have to tie you up first?"

She smiled as if this was a normal occurrence and she was used to asking people if she should tie them up. (Actually, she is. Used to it, I mean.)

"You? Tie me up?" He smirked arrogantly. "Now there's a laugh. You, tie me up. I'm a Time Lord, destroyer of the Dalek race and the person responsible for the world not being destroyed more times than I can count, and you're going to tie me up?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"How are you going to do that? You're just a little girl."

And then she was looming over him. Well, as much as a five-foot tall girl can loom.

(((record scratching sound; the scene freezes then switches to a cold metal room. Tocxica and another girl (Bubbles) are sitting at a metal table topped with a very old typewriter. This is the Writer's Booth. Bubbles is looking around, bewildered.

Tocxica- I'm five-foot-_one._

Bubbles- (still confused.) Where did that record scratching sound come from?

Tocxica- It doesn't matter. (points at typewriter) Fix it.

Bubbles- (gets up and looks around.) We're in a bare room with nothing but table, chairs, and typewriter. Where did that sound come from?

Tocxica- From the sound effects plothole in the corner. _Fix it._

Bubbles- Ok, ok. Shee. You don't have to bite my head off.(She sits back down, cracks her knuckles, and begins typing again. The story switches back and rewinds with a spiffy rewind sound effect.)))

"How are you going to do that? You're just a little girl."

And then she was looming over him. Well, as much as a five-foot _one-inch_ tall girl can loom.

Several minutes passed. After what seemed like an eternity, the Doctor spoke.

"Right then," he said, clapping his hands together. "Where and when does your friend live?"

Tocxica smiled and stopped looming.

"I thought you'd see it my way."

(((Scene fades out and drops back into the Writer's Booth. Bubbles and Tocxica are reading the story contentedly. Bubbles finally sets the papers down, where they disappear. She turns back to the typewriter. Next chapter, ahoy!)))


	3. In Which Bubbles Gets Her Present and

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: I would love to own the Doctor. Especially Ten. Mmmm…

:Snap:- Are you kidding me? You're crazy, Five's _way_ cuter.

Bubbles- I'm crazy, well you're blind!

A/N: Please don't take this seriously. I started writing it _last_ year at my birthday and then dug it out now to finish it.

Chapter 2- In Which Bubbles Gets Her Present And Rose Is Forgotten

The TARDIS landed in the back yard of a small green building with a second, smaller building behind it. Tocxica dragged the Doctor over to this second building and began pounding on the door.

"Senpai! Senpai, it's time to get up!"

There was a pause, then a muffled voice called from inside.

"Go 'way," the voice, presumably Bubbles, said. "S'way too early t' get up! Come back in a hour or two."

"It's half past one!" Tocxica said, exasperated.

"That early?" There was a shuffling sound, which, had they been able to see, they would have identified as Bubbles rolling over and shoving her head under her pillow, a common tactic when she wanted to ignore someone.

Tocxica decided to change tactics.

"Senpai!" She whined. "I brought you your birthday pres_ent_! If you don't come out now I'll have to let him _leave_!"

There was a long silence.

"All right, _fine_."

There was more shuffling, and a moment later the door opened and the Doctor got his first look at the person known as Bubbles.

His first impression was of a very lazy person who only got up in the mornig because her stomach growled. He was right, of course.

Bubbles stared blearily at Tocxica.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I brought you your birthday present," Tocxica said cheerfully. She indicated the doctor, who waved sheepishly.

Bubbles stared (rather rudely) for several seconds. She rubbed her eyes, shook her head, and even pinched herself several times.

"So I'm not hallucinating."

And then she glomped him.

"Ack! Air! Can't breathe, going dark!"

"Senpai, let go, you're going to glomp him into regenerating! Do you want that?"

There was a long pause as Bubbles ran a mental debate as to whether or not she wanted that to happen. Finally, she let go. She turned to Tocxica.

"Thank you Tocxi!" she said happily, and hugged her friend, causing her to shrink down to as small as possible.

(((Tocxica- (glares) No short jokes.)))

"Come on!" Bubbles grabbed the Doctor's hand and dragged him in the direction of the TARDIS.

"Where are we going?" He asked, at least having the decency to look frightened.

Bubbles thought for several minutes before her face broke out into an evil grin.

(((Writer's booth)

Bubbles- Boo-yah! Cliffies all around!

Tocxica- Wasn't that chapter supposed to be longer?

Bubbles- Yes, but the part I cut out was really lame and I think the story is better off with out it.

Tocxica- Well shouldn't you make the chapter a little longer then?

Bubbles- Why?

Tocxica- Because you're author's booth scene will be longer than the actual chapter.

Bubbles- (muttering) Not if you shut up it won't be.)))


	4. In Which They Decide Where To Go And Toc

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: I would love to own the Doctor. Especially Ten. Mmmm…

:Snap:- Are you kidding me? You're crazy, Five's _way_ cuter.

Bubbles- I'm crazy, well you're blind!

A/N: Please don't take this seriously. I started writing it _last_ year at my birthday and then dug it out now to finish it.

Chapter 3- In Which They Decide Where To Go And Tocxica Gets Outnumbered

"Where do you want to go?" the Doctor asked, once they were on the TARDIS.

"Raxicorocofallipitorious."

He looked taken aback, then grinned.

"Betcha can't say that three times fast."

Tocxica facepalmed.

"You had to say it didn't you?"

Bubbles took a deep breath.

"Raxicorocofallipitorious Raxicorocofallipitorious Raxicorocofallipitorious." She grinned. "But you have to use a British accent when you say it, so, Raxicorocofallipitorious Raxicorocofallipitorious Raxicorocofallipitorious!"

Tocxica glared at her.

"Are you _quite _finished?"

"Raxicorocofallipitorious, ok I'm done."

"Are you sure you want to go to Raxicorocofallipitorious?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, Raxicorocofallipitorious sounds like a fun place."

"Yeah, but it's _Raxicorocofallipitorious_."

"Well what's wrong with Raxicorocofallipitorious?"

"Raxicorocofallipitorians, for one."

"You don't like Raxicorocofallipitorians?"

"When a family of Raxicorocofallipitorians tries to kill you and destroy your favorite planet, you tend to lose any fond feeling you might have had for Raxicorocofallipitorious."

Tocxica glared at them. "You're both doing this to annoy me, aren't you?"

They grinned.

"Pretty much, yeah," the Doctor said cheekily.

"Well, I guess if you feel that strongly about it, we don't have to go to Raxicorocofallipitorious," Bubbles said sadly. She pouted for .0074 seconds before immediately brightening up and saying, "Can you take us to Tara?"

"Now that, I can manage." He pushed the buttons and told the TARDIS where to go. "Next stop, Tara."

Bubbles grinned. By now she was positively bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"I can't believe we're actually in the TARDIS, with the Doctor, on our way to Tara! Boo-yah!" She squeed. "This is quite possible the most coolest thing to ever happen to me, like, ever!"

"Woman!" Tocxica shouted, annoyed. "Stop bouncing before I am forced to throw you into the time stream!"

"Sorry…"

They heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS whirring and knew that they had landed.

"Ladies," the Doctor said, "Welcome to Tara." He opened the door, then immediately closed it again as a snow flurry blew in.

"Tara in the middle of winter?" Bubbles suggested.

"Ohhh…" Tocxica moaned, "It's going to be cold…"

"That's not Tara," the Doctor said. "In fact, I'm not sure where we are." He strode over to the monitor. "Ah."

"Where are we?"

"Lyuibela. Nice planet. Usually tropical."

Tocxica peered at the screen.

"That's not tropical."

"It's not Tara, either." Bubbles pouted, then, "Why's it snowing?"

"I don't know." He grinned his Doctor grin. "Wanna go find out?"

Bubbles looked at Tocxica, who shook her head.

"But-"

"No."

"Aww…"

"No."

"It's-"

"Don't care."

Bubbles fell silent, having run out of legitimate arguments. The Doctor's hands hovered over the controls.

"Are we leaving or not?"

Bubbles was silent for several minutes before grinning at him.

"Where're the wardrobes?" she asked. "We're gonna need jackets."

Tocxica sighed.

"I hate you."

"You'll get over it."

"I usually do."


	5. In Which The Plot Develops And Tocxica I

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: I would love to own the Doctor. Especially Ten. Mmmm…

:Snap:- Are you kidding me? You're crazy, Five's _way_ cuter.

Bubbles- I'm crazy, well you're blind!

A/N: Please don't take this seriously. I started writing it _last_ year at my birthday and then dug it out now to finish it.

Chapter 4- In Which The Plot Develops And Tocxica Is Annoyed

"It's so coooold," Tocxica moaned for the umpteenth time. "I can't feel my tooooes."

"Stop whining," Bubbles said cheerfully. "It's not _that_ cold."

"It's 40 below zero, you sociopath!"

"Is that all?"

It was annoying Tocxica that Bubbles was not as affected by the cold as she was. Bubbles had only donned a hooded parka and a light blue scarf before leaving the TARDIS. (She had looked for the ridiculously long scarf that Four habitually wore, but it was nowhere to be found.)

Tocxica, on the other hand, was wearing about four layers of clothing under her two jackets and over her usual two layers of clothing.

And she was _still_ freezing.

The Doctor was walking several feet ahead of them. He wasn't wearing a jacket at all.

"Y'know," he called back, "40 degrees is the same in Fahrenheit as it is in Celsius."

"Yeah, yeah," Tocxica said. She was getting more and more annoyed the colder she got.

Bubbles was getting perkier.

This made Tocxica even more annoyed.

After traipsing through the snow for a good two hours, the trio (they had left Rose behind) arrived at a large abandoned building. The walls were lined with windows, all of which were open. The Doctor peered through on of them.

"Well there's the problem," he said cheerfully. "Someone forgot to close the fridge."

The girls looked in as well. It was a decidedly long, bare room. There was no furniture; in fact, the only content of the room was a large purple refrigerator that was hanging open. In fact, it had been open for so long that the light had blown.

"That's why it's so cold?" Tocxica asked. "Because some left the fridge open?"

"I'll go close it!" Bubbles said happily. She was getting thoroughly bored with the snow and wanted to see a tropical paradise. She vaulted over the open windowsill and ran to the fridge.

"Wait, don't! Stop!" The Doctor shouted, but it was too late. Bubbles had reached the door and was about to close it when a large snowy hand clamped down on her shoulder.

Outside, similar pairs of hands had grabbed the Doctor and Tocxica.

Bubbles turned around and found herself face to face with evil.

(o.o.o)

A/N- Dun-dun-da-duuuuuuun! Cliffhanger! Yeah, they finally let me out of the writer's booth. See ya next chapter!


	6. In Which We See The Face Of Evil And Bub

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: I would love to own the Doctor. Especially Ten. Mmmm…

:Snap:- Are you kidding me? You're crazy, Five's _way_ cuter.

Bubbles- I'm crazy, well you're blind!

A/N: Sorry about not posting before, I was about to when I realized I hadn't finished typing it up yet.

Chapter 5- In Which We See The Face Of Evil And Bubbles Is Overdramatic

In all his years defeating various megalomaniacs, the Doctor had never known his adversary to have a carrot nose and a corncob pipe. Of course, he had never fought shop window dummies till recently either, so it was that surprising.

Their captors, a group of snowmen, took them to a large icy palace and guided them into the throne room, where they were presented to the snowmen's king.

On first glance he did not seem that evil. He was wearing a silken black top hat, and had a corncob pipe, a button nose, two eyes made of coal, as well as three of diamonds.

Then he smiled, and it was such a horribly wickedly evilly smile that Bubbles was forced to wonder why there were so many stories about happy jolly good mutant snowmen.

"Who are they?" he asked their captors.

"Your Snowyness," answered one, "We caught them trying to close the Great Snow Maker that gives us life."

"Ah, so you are the ones from prophesy! Well I won't let you take away what I have worked so hard to build! Take them to the dungeons. We'll execute them at dawn."

"Yes, your Snowy-ness!"

The snowmen manhandled their captives and brought them to an icy dungeon with bars made of ice.

"I don't wanna die!" Bubbles said, once they were alone.

"Shush, no one's gonna die," the Doctor said in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring manner. Bubbles ignored and went on.

"I'm too young to die! There's so much I haven't done! So much I won't get to do! I'll never go to Canada! I'll never pet a llama! I'll never become a world-famous author slash comedian slash mime! I'll never see the new season of _Torchwoooooood_!!!"

SLAP!!!

Bubbles stopped being overdramatic. The doctor blinked. Tocxica looked bewildered from her hand to Bubbles' steadily reddening cheek.

"Sorry," she said quietly. "It was instinct, I didn't mean to hit you so hard."

Bubbles felt her cheek for a few seconds before grinning.

"Not a problem! You had to do what you had to do!" She turned to the Doctor, "So what's our plan for escaping from here?"

(o.o.o)  
A/N- Ok, so I know the new season of Torchwood has already premiered, but this takes place on my birthday, which was actually a few days before the premiere. So, Bubbles hasn't had a chance to see it yet.


	7. In Which Our Heroes Escape and Jack Save

The Bubbles Happy Birthday

By: The Bubbles

Summary: My friend Tocxica, in an attempt to give me a happy birthday, gives me the ultimate present- The Doctor Himself!

Disclaimer: I would love to own the Doctor. Especially Ten. Mmmm…

:Snap:- Are you kidding me? You're crazy, Five's _way_ cuter.

Bubbles- I'm crazy, well you're blind!

A/N: This is the last chapter and as such the end of the story. I was _really_ surprised that so many people liked this story, I expected to get a bunch of reviews about how stupid it was, which you can't deny isn't true. I guess sometimes people need something stupid to take their mind off of stress, or something.

Chapter 6- In Which Our Heroes Escape And Jack Saves The Day

(((Bubbles- You thought I'd forgotten him, didn't you?

Snap- But you did. That's why it's the sixth chapter and he's only just now showing up.

Tocxica- I can't believe you forgot him. He's _Jack_.

Bubbles- Why do you two always insist on showing up in my author's notes?

Snap- You tell us; you're the one typing.

Bubbles- I hate you both.)))

Jack awoke from his nap to find that the TARDIS was completely deserted. After searching through every room in the immediate vicinity, he decided that his friends had left and exited through the TARDIS door to find them.

The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and began working it over the bars.

"What are you doing?" Bubbles asked curiously.

"I'm going to use the sonic resonance to vibrate the bars, thus creating heat energy and causing the bars to revert to a liquid state and allowing us to make our escape."

Bubbles stared blankly at him for several seconds before turning to Tocxica with a questioning look on her face.

"He means he's going to melt the bars so we can get out."

"Oh!"

After what seemed like forever, his plan worked and they managed to get out. They were running when the snowmen went after them.

"If we can get to the TARDIS, we can escape," the Doctor said.

"Yeah, great plan, Macgyver!" Bubbles retorted. Fear for her life made her a bit more like Tocxica than usual. "Why are we running from them, anyway? Couldn't we just knock their heads off or something?"

"I'd rather you didn't try, if it's all the same to you," Tocxica said. "I'd hate to have to tell your mom that you died at the hands of evil mutant snowmen. She'd never let me steal you again."

Fear for her life made her a bit more like Bubbles than usual.

Along the way, Bubbles managed to lose her balance and trip over her own feet. She fell to the ground and scraped her chin on a rock, and it was at that point that she realized the snow had been steadily melting for the past fifteen minutes of so. She stood and turned to look. The snowmen were gaining on them, but they were slowing down as well. They were melting.

"What the heck is going on?" She asked.

"Senpai, you might want to run!" Tocxica said, helping her friend to her feet. . "They can still hurt you!"

What? Oh, right." She got up and took off. After about three steps she ran into something very solid and fell to her bum for the second time in as many minutes. She looked up. There, standing over her in all his time agent glory, stood Captain Jack Harkness. Instinct told her that the safest place in the world right now was standing right behind him, so she ran around to this safest of locations. He looked at the nearest snowman, who was somewhat faster than the others, and kicked his head off. The others, fearing for their lives, and already weakened from the rapidly warming weather, decided they were better off elsewhere.

Once they were gone, Bubbles came out from behind her rescuer and looked.

"Dude!" She said finally, so suddenly that it made him jump. "That was like the bossest thing I have ever seen in my life!"

Tocxica snapped out of her starry-eyed fangirling to reprimand her friend.

"Senpai, weren't you just saying two minutes ago that that would be easy to do?"

"Yes, I was, but he did it with _style_."

"That is true," Tocxica conceded, and went back to staring.

"Hello, Ladies," Jack said in that oh-so-Jack way he is wont to do.

"Stop it Jack," the Doctor warned. "They're underage."

"I'm not!" Bubbles put in cheerfully, earning her a sock in the jaw from Tocxica. "Just felt like sharing," she muttered, rubbing her aching jaw. She turned to the Doctor. "Can we go home now?"

Several minutes later, the whirring of the TARDIS told them that they had landed. Bubbles rushed out the door and scooped up a brown dog who ran to her as she did.

"Hello, my darling little Burrito-kun! Did you miss me, Sweetheart? Of course you did, my Love."

As she gushed, Tocxica checked a clock conveniently located just inside Bubbles room door.

"Senpai?"

Bubbles stopped cuddling her dog. "Yes Tocxi?"

"We've only been gone for ten minutes."

"Oh." She dropped her dog, who promptly ran over to the TARDIS and began sniffing it. "All right then."

Some time later, after everyone had left in the TARDIS and Bubbles and Tocxica were sitting around Bubbles' living room eating Ramen and watching Torchwood, Bubbles realized the downside of Tocxica's gift.

"Aw, crap!" she exclaimed. "Now I have to get you something just as good for your birthday!"

Tocxica smiled.

"Well, you've got six months."

A/N- That story was just over a year in the making. I had never planned it to be more than a oneshot, and I _certainly_ never planned to post it, but these things happen, and when they do you've got to run with it.

Tocxica- Are you going to do a sequel for my birthday?

Bubbles- Maybe. We'll have to wait and see, now won't we?

Snap- You know that's a yes. She's been planning the sequel since November.

Bubbles- Doesn't mean I'll write it. And stay out of my head!

Snap- How'm I s'posed to do that?! I _live_ in your head, there's nowhere else I can go anyway!


End file.
